It's Quite the Balancing Act!

Walking out of an appointment last night, I slipped and nearly fell down a flight of stairs. It wasn't bad and I wasn't hurt, but balance is obviously an issue for me at times!

I've been working very hard this year trying to be a more emotionally balanced person. I am focusing on being more open-minded, more positive, more affectionate and relaxed. I am trying to reduce the anger and hostility that I used to approach problems with and take on a more tempered resolution process. I think I have changed for the better and I know I still have a long way to go!

I also know that I should practise a work-life balance and eat a balanced diet. These are challenges that I have faced and that I am consistently working on in my day-to-day life.

That word, balance, crept into my consciousness again last night and not because I nearly fell down some stairs either! As an active, athletic person I consider myself to be fit and strong. I can do a pull-up. I can do a push-up. I bet I'd even take you in an arm wrestling contest! Despite all of this, I am still weak in certain areas and this weakness has caused me my fair share of issues.

I rely on my aerial work to meet my fitness goals, and in the past I have felt as though I have been meeting those goals and I have pretty much stopped participating in other forms of fitness. My days at the gym have slowly dwindled away. My 5k runs I was enjoying last summer dried up when the weather became colder. My yoga practise has been practically non-existent over the past several months. I have made excuses about time, money, and interest, but the reality is I could have and I should have been engaging my body in different ways.

After suffering another injury setback in the past few weeks, it has become very apparent that I need to balance my body and my training regimes. Thanks to a great discussion with my osteopath, Holly Treddenick of Blue Bird Osteopathy, I have found a probable culprit. My weak lower abdominals are causing my hip flexors to over-engage when I am training. When I train longer, more often or harder, they are basically constantly engaged, then become fatigued and finally, my back goes and I am stuck in bed with severe pain. Not fun!

Understanding the issue now, I have been able to create a balanced approach that should resolve my current problem and lessen the chances of another injury. I will be working towards this resolution in the following ways:

1. Yoga! I have recently begun practising Bikrim Yoga at the Bikram Yoga Studio in the Beaches, near my home. I have only participated in a few classes, but it is challenging and invigorating! The instructors are friendly and knowledgeable and I really look forward to getting the most out of my monthly pass! The goal I need to keep in mind is that this is an opportunity for me to stretch and release the tension in my very tight muscles so that they stop squashing the bones inside of me!

2. Aerial! Of course aerial. However, I am going to be very conscious of balancing out my training so that I am equally training my right (dominant) side and my left. This will correct the imbalances over-training my right has caused over the years.

3. Pilates! I was shocked when Holly suggested that my lower abdominals were weak. Shocked, I tell you! The proof is in the pudding though and I have had lower back issues for years now. I gotta do something about this. So, a few 30-minute sessions of pilates a week is just what I need. I am going to try and do this at home using a Youtube video series. I hear Popsugar is good. We'll see. Regardless, strengthening my core is just going to make everything better!

4. Strengthen my lower body! Squats, lunges and calf raises - Oh my! I have to do it though. I can't have a saggy butt and awesome arms. That's just weird!

Now, how am I going to balance all of this out on top of work and family and friends? Hopefully, like this gorgeous tight rope walker, I will handle these new challenges with grace, ease and of course, strength!

Tightrope Walker, 1890

Cheers, Jackie

Pushing Personal Boundaries

Sometimes it is better to put off until tomorrow what you planned on doing today. Yesterday I had planned to write a post. It was pretty scathing. I don't know what my problem was, but I was pissed. I was at the throat of the world for no apparent reason and it would have come out in my writing. I didn't post and now I feel better for it. Today I have a positive post. A post that means more to me than complaining about the actions of others. This is a post about pushing my own boundaries.

I have never been one to shy away from a challenge. Since I was a toddler, I have dove head first into things. Sometimes my actions were funny. Sometimes they were scary. As a teenager, I pushed every limit placed in my way, whether real or perceived. Didn't we all though?

As I grew up, I looked to push my boundaries in different and more productive ways. I moved to Toronto with a friend and we decided that we would rent an apartment as opposed to living in university dorms. We weren't afraid of the big bad city. When I found myself bored of school, I signed up for an exchange programme and headed to Australia for 6 months by myself. When I decided that teaching was going to be my career, instead of waiting for an Ontario school year to start, I jumped on another plane and headed back to Oz to get my Masters of Education.

Since my last adventure, I have settled considerably. Having a full time job comes with responsibilities that I don't always love. I have rent to pay, make car, insurance, student loan, and credit card payments. The list goes on forever. I can't just jump up and jet away anymore. It's sad, really, but I am certainly not alone! With these responsibilities, I have to look for new ways to push my own boundaries and test my limits.

I push and test and push some more through my aerial practice. Aerial work is a test of my physical boundaries as well as my mental and emotional limitations. The first mental block that I experienced a new aerialist was to actually start. Starting is a big deal. I cannot tell you how many times I have told someone what I do and they say they could "never" do that. If you can get passed that and get to a class, then comes the physical part.

Many of us have watched in awe at professional aerialists. Their grace, strength and beauty make this art seem effortless. It's not! It definitely takes effort. I went into classes assuming I was strong from going to the gym. I was, but I wasn't. I couldn't climb. I couldn't invert. It was frustrating. I wanted it, but my body said nope... in class one... in class two... in class three... and maybe by class four I started to get it. But, I had to come back. If I had have let my physical limitations put up a mental block, I would not be where I am today. And, where I am today is awesome!

I am not saying I am awesome. I am saying that aerial has brought me to a place where I am surrounded by awesomeness. Yes, the physical boundaries that I see people push themselves towards are amazing. The women and men I train with are true athletes and artists. I see them and I want to push myself to be better, and stronger. It's not always easy though.

Recently, I was sidelined by an injury. It happens. It took months to diagnose a herniated disc in my neck. During that time, I experienced pain both mentally and physically. I was weak. My body would not, and could not do what I wanted it to do. Mentally, I was depressed. I was missing my practice and my friends. I was worried I wouldn't be able to get passed this roadblock. With the support and kindness of my aerial instructors, a touch of physiotherapy, an amazing osteopath, and the love of my aerial family, I slowly made my way back to classes though.

At first, my boundaries were very constrained. I could only do certain movements. After half a class, my body was done and I had to call it quits. It was sad to leave class just as the others were getting ready to learn a new sequence or drop, but I had to take it easy. Soon though I could take full classes. Then, I was able to put together a short performance for a student showcase. Next, I tried an old drop that I knew well. Finally, I performed a longer piece at a second student showcase. I am so grateful for the opportunity to perform. It really did put me back on track. It gave me confidence in myself again. I was able to push a little further in the next class. Now, I am pushing myself farther than I ever have before.

I will be taking part in an epic aerial undertaking called "Cascade." This piece is the brainchild of an amazing Toronto artist, Brady Leary, and Anadam Dance Theatre, as well as other visual and musical artists. Sixty aerialists will be shaking and climbing and hanging and descending ropes from 7:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. on the evening of Saturday, October 4, 2014. Never before would I have felt comfortable to do this kind of postmodern, endurance-based, dance-aerial performance. To be honest, I am terrified. I question my abilities daily. However, I know that physically, I will be able to push myself to my limits safely. Mentally, I will be able to overcome my doubts and self-consciousness and be open to this new experience. Emotionally, I can overcome my fear of performing and being judged by an audience. If I let these boundaries get in my way, I would miss out on this amazing opportunity, and I am certainly not going to let that happen. Not now. Not ever.

Cascade: A small waterfall, typically one of several that fall in stages down a steep rocky slope. This beautifully cascading waterfall can be found outside Cairns, Queensland, Australia. Apparently, they filmed those hair-flipping, shampoo commercials at the base of this waterfall!

So, please don't limit yourself. Try something new. Take a risk. Push your boundaries. The daily grind really is monotonous. There must be more to life than getting up, driving to work, putting in your time and driving back home. I hope to see you at Nuit Blanche's Night Circus and our performance of Cascade!

Cheers, Jackie