Contemporary Circus Arts Festival of Toronto: Day One Social Circus Discussion Panel

A couple of years ago, I started thinking about the future of my career. As a teacher, I was already burnt out after 5 years on the job. I still am. I don't enjoy going to work. Most days, I literally dread the idea of getting in the car and making that 40-minute commute north of the city. On really bad days, I get serious anxiety. I have even cried in the car in the parking lot before going into the building.

You might ask your, what's so bad about it? You get a sweet pay cheque and a pension when you're done. You have summers off. Your days start at 9:00 a.m. and end at 3:30 p.m. (in my dreams), so things are pretty darn good. From the outside, those are all great! I don't deny the fact that summers off are amazing. I am not one of those people that complain about pay. I am certainly not at the top of the pay grid, but I am comfortable. But, when you work with people, and children in particular, you run into all kinds of obstacles and red tape that have nothing to do with that cool stuff I just mentioned. And, those obstacles and red tape make my job so shitty.


Does that mean I don't want to teach any longer? Not necessarily. I just need to find my niche. I need to make the best of my situation. So, going back to a couple of years ago again, I started thinking about how I could mix my love of circus with my day job. I had a very lofty dream of starting some sort of private arts school that would focus on core curriculum for half the day and then arts and physical education, including circus arts, for the other half of the day. I have the teaching know-how. I have some foundation in circus arts and many friends who have arts-based backgrounds. I am not a businessperson though and to start a private school, I would need to have a business plan and a substantial amount of start-up money. It seemed more than a bit daunting and I lost hope that I could ever pull something like this off.

Over time, my mind drifted back in that direction though. How can I make this work on a smaller scale? How can I combine my love of aerial arts and my background in teaching? Then, I started hearing about "social circus." Well, I didn't actually hear it being called that. What I did hear about was a woman in the Toronto-area that runs a programme called Talk to Youth Lately.

Angola Murdoch, founder and artistic director of Lookup Theatre, came into one of my silks classes to sub for my instructor, Natalie. In conversation, she brought up this programme and the amazing work that she is doing with youth aged 16 to 30 who suffer from mental health issues. I was instantly interested and wanted to speak with her more about this amazing work. She is based out of Owen Sound though in the summer months, my time off, so I didn't really have a chance to touch base with her and learn more.

I do want to learn more about these programmes though. And, there are many of them around Canada and around the world. I had to opportunity to begin my learning journey on Wednesday, September 24, 2014 at a Social Circus Discussion Panel held by the organizers of the Contemporary Circus Arts Festival of Toronto. I can't wait to share more with you about this panel and all of the amazing things that they are doing. It really got my brain juices flowing!

Rebecca Leonard moderated the panel discussion. I have heard about this woman so frequently in the community, but I've never met her until now and I certainly didn't realize the extent of her work in social circus! The rest of the biographies I am going to borrow from the event details provided to me through CCAFT. "Social Circus arts have come alive in diverse communities for the past 19 years. CCAFT provides a rare opportunity to meet with some of the prominent groups who are doing groundbreaking work in social circus in Canada. We are delighted to have a full spectrum of  social circus models & practitioners on the panel including Anik Couture/Cirque du Monde-Cirque du Soleil’s Global Citizenship, Helen Donnelly/Sr. Therapeutic Clown practioner, Marsha Kennington, Social Circus instructor, Angola Murdoch/Talk to Youth Lately T.T.Y.L., and Neal Rempel/Circus, Art & Magic Partnership C.A.M.P. "

They said so many things that struck a chord with me. They are working with people in South Africa, Columbia, Mexico and right here in Canada. Their programmes provide those in need with an outlet to express and explore their issues through physical activity - the circus arts - and discussion with social workers and counselors. They provide instruction, equipment and sometimes just time off the streets. They work with the poor and needy, addicts, runaways and marginalized communities in places most of us would shy away from. Their successes are amazing. Their challenges many. But, they don't give up on these people. They work with them and try to create sustainable growth in communities and people long after they are gone. So inspiring!

When they opened the discussion up to the audience, I was so nervous to speak. I literally felt the heat rise in my cheeks. I blushed because I was so impressed by the people I was surrounded by! I had to ask them, "Where do you start?" It's a question that I've been struggling with. But, I got an answer. I hope that one day, sooner rather than later, I can connect with the National Circus School in Montreal and take their programme that instructs individuals in leading a circus programme in the  context of social education. I was provided the information and contacts, now all I have to do is take that step. Additionally, I plan on connecting with Angola and volunteering with her TTYL programme and see what it's all about and learn from her and the people she works with. 

The seed has been planted. Now, I need to nurture that seed. I need to move forward and learn and grow. Isn't that what it's all about? I've felt like my energy and creativity and drive has been stifled by the job I am in, but I am not a quitter. I am an adapter. I will adapt and make my situation better and in the process, hopefully make other people's situations a bit better too. My journey may not take me the same direction as the speakers I heard from yesterday. I see myself working with younger audiences. I see helping them to build strong physical and emotional foundations in themselves so that they may not have to face the challenges of the teens and young adults that others are working with now and, if they do face them, they are better equipped to deal with them. If you're a teacher, a performer, a social worker, or just a like-minded person, let's get together and talk and learn and grow something amazing together!

 

Cheers, Jackie

Busy, Busy, Busy!

Hey! This week has been mad busy! Our new school, Anne Frank Public School, is finally open! It's the first Anne Frank Public School in all of Canada, ya know. That being said, I had to move in. I had to get boxes from my storage bin out to the school. Then, I had to unpack. I didn't go in on the weekend though. No way. That's crazy. The room will get done, when it gets done.

More importantly, I had Nuit Blanche rehearsals - (My hobby is more important than my job, ya know!) on Friday and Sunday evenings. AH-MAZING! If you go see this show, it will blow your freaking mind!

Saturday was no less busy. Jay and I went to see one of our favourite bands, The Architects, at the Opera House. They are great. So much energy. Their songs are so heavy, yet melodic, yet catchy. Love them! Loved it!

But, I've been busy. So, instead of writing a big post today, I thought I would stick in a clip of my silks performance that I created for Jamie Holmes' student showcase last summer. It features a song by The Architects called HyperRedSuperGiant. It's a great instrumental! Additionally, you lucky folks get to read my monthly newsletter that I send home to parents.

I hope you enjoy both! Cheers, Jackie

September Student Newsletter

Pushing Personal Boundaries

Sometimes it is better to put off until tomorrow what you planned on doing today. Yesterday I had planned to write a post. It was pretty scathing. I don't know what my problem was, but I was pissed. I was at the throat of the world for no apparent reason and it would have come out in my writing. I didn't post and now I feel better for it. Today I have a positive post. A post that means more to me than complaining about the actions of others. This is a post about pushing my own boundaries.

I have never been one to shy away from a challenge. Since I was a toddler, I have dove head first into things. Sometimes my actions were funny. Sometimes they were scary. As a teenager, I pushed every limit placed in my way, whether real or perceived. Didn't we all though?

As I grew up, I looked to push my boundaries in different and more productive ways. I moved to Toronto with a friend and we decided that we would rent an apartment as opposed to living in university dorms. We weren't afraid of the big bad city. When I found myself bored of school, I signed up for an exchange programme and headed to Australia for 6 months by myself. When I decided that teaching was going to be my career, instead of waiting for an Ontario school year to start, I jumped on another plane and headed back to Oz to get my Masters of Education.

Since my last adventure, I have settled considerably. Having a full time job comes with responsibilities that I don't always love. I have rent to pay, make car, insurance, student loan, and credit card payments. The list goes on forever. I can't just jump up and jet away anymore. It's sad, really, but I am certainly not alone! With these responsibilities, I have to look for new ways to push my own boundaries and test my limits.

I push and test and push some more through my aerial practice. Aerial work is a test of my physical boundaries as well as my mental and emotional limitations. The first mental block that I experienced a new aerialist was to actually start. Starting is a big deal. I cannot tell you how many times I have told someone what I do and they say they could "never" do that. If you can get passed that and get to a class, then comes the physical part.

Many of us have watched in awe at professional aerialists. Their grace, strength and beauty make this art seem effortless. It's not! It definitely takes effort. I went into classes assuming I was strong from going to the gym. I was, but I wasn't. I couldn't climb. I couldn't invert. It was frustrating. I wanted it, but my body said nope... in class one... in class two... in class three... and maybe by class four I started to get it. But, I had to come back. If I had have let my physical limitations put up a mental block, I would not be where I am today. And, where I am today is awesome!

I am not saying I am awesome. I am saying that aerial has brought me to a place where I am surrounded by awesomeness. Yes, the physical boundaries that I see people push themselves towards are amazing. The women and men I train with are true athletes and artists. I see them and I want to push myself to be better, and stronger. It's not always easy though.

Recently, I was sidelined by an injury. It happens. It took months to diagnose a herniated disc in my neck. During that time, I experienced pain both mentally and physically. I was weak. My body would not, and could not do what I wanted it to do. Mentally, I was depressed. I was missing my practice and my friends. I was worried I wouldn't be able to get passed this roadblock. With the support and kindness of my aerial instructors, a touch of physiotherapy, an amazing osteopath, and the love of my aerial family, I slowly made my way back to classes though.

At first, my boundaries were very constrained. I could only do certain movements. After half a class, my body was done and I had to call it quits. It was sad to leave class just as the others were getting ready to learn a new sequence or drop, but I had to take it easy. Soon though I could take full classes. Then, I was able to put together a short performance for a student showcase. Next, I tried an old drop that I knew well. Finally, I performed a longer piece at a second student showcase. I am so grateful for the opportunity to perform. It really did put me back on track. It gave me confidence in myself again. I was able to push a little further in the next class. Now, I am pushing myself farther than I ever have before.

I will be taking part in an epic aerial undertaking called "Cascade." This piece is the brainchild of an amazing Toronto artist, Brady Leary, and Anadam Dance Theatre, as well as other visual and musical artists. Sixty aerialists will be shaking and climbing and hanging and descending ropes from 7:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. on the evening of Saturday, October 4, 2014. Never before would I have felt comfortable to do this kind of postmodern, endurance-based, dance-aerial performance. To be honest, I am terrified. I question my abilities daily. However, I know that physically, I will be able to push myself to my limits safely. Mentally, I will be able to overcome my doubts and self-consciousness and be open to this new experience. Emotionally, I can overcome my fear of performing and being judged by an audience. If I let these boundaries get in my way, I would miss out on this amazing opportunity, and I am certainly not going to let that happen. Not now. Not ever.

Cascade: A small waterfall, typically one of several that fall in stages down a steep rocky slope. This beautifully cascading waterfall can be found outside Cairns, Queensland, Australia. Apparently, they filmed those hair-flipping, shampoo commercials at the base of this waterfall!

So, please don't limit yourself. Try something new. Take a risk. Push your boundaries. The daily grind really is monotonous. There must be more to life than getting up, driving to work, putting in your time and driving back home. I hope to see you at Nuit Blanche's Night Circus and our performance of Cascade!

Cheers, Jackie

Fashion Friday is Now Style Sunday!

Fashion Friday is now Style Sunday. It doesn't sound as good, does it? This first week of school was hectic! I am trying to stay on my training schedule, so I went to silks class on Tuesday even though I felt like a zombie. It was the right thing to do though. Collective Space really is a happy place for me and the women there make me smile! After working out, I always feel better about the day too.

I got to spend even more time with my silks family on Wednesday as many of us headed down to the  Grand Chapiteau and enjoy the Cirque de Soleil show, Kurios: Cabinet of Curiosities. What a wild ride! I've been to many Cirque shows and this had to be one of my favourites. Everything was so whimsicical. They actually had a Tea Party on the Ceiling! Also, going to see professionals perform is such an amazing and inspirational experience! I am totally ready to jump into my training with two feet and challenge myself more and more in the coming weeks!

One of my favourite fashion friends was with us on Wednesday night. Lara has to be one of the most fashionable folks that I know. I love to see what she's up to and what she's wearing! She did not disappoint on Wednesday. Her orangey-red, super-wide legged pants were amazing! Paired with a great striped crop, she was on fire! Then, what did she do once the temperature dipped? She brought out a black fringed poncho that I had to touch! So soft. So swingy. So much fun! I was certainly jealous of her look that night and also took some inspiration from it!

Finding the balance between work-appropriate apparel and every day fashion has been tough for me over the years. I enjoy a daring look. I don't mind showing a bit of skin. Obviously this doesn't fly in front of my grade 4 class though. So, how does someone like myself balance work wear, casual wear and my budget?

My favourite store of the moment has to be Aritzia. I love their clothing. Everything is so chic. Their trend pieces are not over-the-top. The quality is fantastic. Putting together an outfit from Aritzia has never been an issue for me. Pricing can be a challenge though. Many of their pieces cost over $100 and I can't always afford this price point. When I am feeling light in the wallet, I head to my favourite secondhand stores. I am not talking about the Salvation Army Thrift Store or Value Village. I am talking about great higher-end used clothing stores like The Kind Exchange and Common Sort.

If you haven't been to either of these stores, go now! Kind Exchange has many locations around Toronto. Selection varies from location to location. My suggestion is to travel to a location near a wealthy neighbourhood. I live near the Beach in Toronto, and there is never a shortage of my favourite brands there. Recently, I bought a beautiful Wilfred dress at The Kind Exchange in the Beach that retailed for $165 at Aritizia for only $30! Not too shabby.

Common Sort, located in Parkdale and Riverdale here in Toronto, tends to carry more higher end, curated items. Their selection process is very picky. I went "back-to-school" shopping at Common Sort in August and spent close to $200 on a variety of items ranging from purses to pants. If I had been so inclined, I could have purchased a beautiful, no lustworthy, Rebecca Minkoff purse for a mere $170. The rich burgundy leather and gold chain shoulder strap almost lured me in, but I couldn't. I didn't. I did however score a black silk Wilfred hoodie. It's amazing. Now that the weather is cooling down in the evenings, I look forward to wearing it often!

I paired a few of these "new-to-me" items with some of my own to create fun, back-to-school outfits. Nothing too drastic. I have to introduce myself gently to this new community. Wear to do like to shop? What are your money-saving fashion tips? Don't keep fashion secrets! Share them with us. We need to know!

Finally, I will apologize for the selfies. I hate selfies. I hate that you can see my yucky kitchen in the background. I will work hard to not take anymore selfies! I promise that my fashion picks will be nicer in the future!

Cheers, Jackie

Friday's outfit. Wilfred T (purchased new, $40) and pants (purchased at Common Sort, $25).

Thursday's outfit. Wilfred top (purchased new, $50) and Citizen's of Humanity jeans (purchased new, $125)

Tuesday's Outfit. Gap tank (purchased new, $16) and Wilfred Skirt (purchased at Common Sort, $22)

 

Have a Happy, Healthy Back to School!

Today is the day. The final day. That day. I almost dare not say it, but I will. It's the last day of summer vacation.

As of yet, I don't have many friends with school-aged children. My niece is beginning junior kindergarten this year though. I know that my sister has been nervous for months. Will she have the right teacher? Will she get along with everyone? Will they get along with her? What sort of disease and sickness will she bring home? By the way, she will bring home every disease and sickness! Kids are gross. And, finally, what will she eat?

Like many kids, my niece lives off of peanut butter. Nuts are so taboo in schools now due to severe allergies, that this just will not do. No it won't! I am also a nut lover. I mix nuts into most snacks to get some added protein and energy, and to stay fuller longer.  My sister has opted for soy-based products to substitute in T's lunches. In moderation, this is a fine option for a child, but for me, not-so-much. I find too much soy causes weight gain, moodiness, and hormone fluctuations that I just can't handle. With this in mind, I turned to my facebook friends for help.

The first suggestion I received was roasted legumes. That is what I am trying this week. After ruling out using canned stuff, I went to Bulk Barn and picked myself up some dried chickpeas and got to work. Overnight soaking, boiling, skimming, rinsing, roasting, and tossing led to some lovely honey cinnamon roasted chickpeas. I will take them to work and enjoy them all week!  Take a look at the finished product below and check out the recipe here (with savoury options): Healthy Snack: Roasted Chick Peas

honey cinnamon roasted chickpeas

This leads me to my final point today. Being healthy takes time and effort. I could have went to the grocery store and picked up any old prepackaged snack option from the shelves. There are enough of them, but they are full of sugar, fat, and preservatives of unknown origins and pronunciations! I could have cut my prep time in half (and tripled my sodium intake!) by buying canned chickpeas. However, I chose to put in the time and effort to make myself something healthy and satisfying because I am worth it. My health is worth it.

I spend hours on Sundays buying and prepping food for the coming week. I want to know what I am eating. I want to know where it came from. It is late summer in Ontario and local produce is abundant and I am going to buy it and support our farmers! I prefer to buy from a local farmers' stand/market, but some grocery stores do a great job of stocking locally-sourced produce. FreshCo is the best one I've seen in my neighbourhood. Loblaws it the worst and stocks mostly US and South/Central American produce.

I am off to make my favourite Quinoa Protein Bowl. It's my go-to lunch of choice. That might all change though as I get used to whipping up goodies in my new food processor! Have a happy, healthy Labour Day. To any teacher friends and parents, good luck tomorrow! Next up, Fashion Friday. What does it mean to wear "teacher clothes"?!

Cheers, Jackie