Birthday Gratitudes

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 36 years old. This is a time in a woman's life where she can get sad because she's getting wrinkles and pimples at the same time, or embrace how much smarter and better she becomes with age! I choose the later, even though I really do hate getting pimples and wrinkles at the same time!!

I was sitting at my computer and responding back to all of the great people that took a moment out of their day yesterday to write a post on my facebook page wishing me the best on my birthday. I think it's important to acknowledge that time they took to think about me. It's pretty awesome! As I was writing, I thought to myself that I have so much to be grateful for. I'm not one to get gushy, but I thought I'd put together a little something to show my gratitude for my wonderful life and the wonderful people in it! 

1. I am grateful for my home, good food to eat, clean water to drink, the clothes that I wear, warmth in the winter and air conditioning in the summer. Many people in the world do not enjoy these basic necessities that many of us take for granted.

2. I am grateful for my overall health. Yes, I have aches and pains. Yes, as I age it takes a bit longer to bounce back from injuries, but I have been lucky in life with my health. I've never had to battle a debilitating disease, or fight for my life in hospital. My body still allows me to walk around every day, and challenge myself physically.

3. I am grateful for my family. Sometimes they drive me nuts, but I am grateful every day that they are on this planet and I can call them up and hear their voices. I have had friends who have lost close family members this past year. I can't imagine what that must be like and I am happy that, for now, I have not had to learn that difficult life lesson.

4. I am grateful for my friends. I am not the type of person that has a million friends. I have a few awesome people in my life. They challenge me. They support me. They make me laugh. They make me think. They may live halfway across the world or just down the street. I may see them weekly, or it may be years between our visits, but I know we will pick up right where we left off.

5. I am grateful for my awesome partner in crime. He's been around for a long time ~ 14 years or so to be exact. We've survived a long distance relationship. We've supported each other through health problems. We cuddle on the couch every night. We always have something to talk about. We support each other. We spoil each other. It's not always a walk in the park and there are times that we really don't see eye-to-eye, but we know how to work through those problems and become a stronger couple.

6. I am grateful to have good, steady employment. At the best of times, my job is very fulfilling. I feel like I've made a difference. At the worst of times, it pays the bills and allows me to enjoy the things in life that I don't get paid for (e.g., aerial work!), that make my time on this planet better and rewarding. I don't have to worry about a layoff or downsizing. I have a creative job. It's never boring. It always keeps me on my toes.

7. I am grateful for writing. The fact that even a few people take time out of their day to read my ramblings is awesome. I love to write and even though I didn't become that famous rock journalist that I dreamed of being when I was a teenager, I appreciate having this medium to share my thoughts and ideas.

8. I am grateful to be Canadian. We can criticize our government for it's downfalls. I encourage that discourse. And, because we live here, we can do that with relative safety and security. Although I live in the largest city in the country, I don't walk down the streets at night fearful. There is no war waging outside of my window. My sister doesn't have to worry about her children being kidnapped and held for ransom. We should be proud to be Canadian. We are lucky to live here in this big,
beautiful country. We do need to fight to protect the values it stands for and the environment that we enjoy here. So, go out and vote in October!

I am sure that there is so much more that I am missing. This is only the tip of the iceberg. I know this because I am a very lucky person and my life is pretty freaking great! I have to remember this when I get angry and frustrated and my mind threatens to shut out all of this good stuff. I suppose now that it's published, I can come back and read it if that time does roll around.

Cheers, Jackie

If You're Going to Go Out, You Might As Well Go Out With a BANG!

Take your seats. The show is about to begin! Les Coquettes go out with a BANG!

When La Minouche spoke to the audience at last night's farewell Les Coquettes Cabaret Burlesque show, BANG!, and asked us if the show had ever lifted us out of a dark place or time in our lives, I clapped and shed a tear. I'm sure many other audience members did too. I am sure we have all had our different hardships. I am sure we have all had different experiences at a Les Coquettes show that have helped us too.

Maybe Charity Dawn and the Mohel made us laugh with the number Let's Duet. Maybe Dew Lily thrilled us and made our naughty bits tingle with his Junkie Nurse act. Maybe we watched in awe as Charlotte Webber or Suki Tsumani dazzled us with their aerial strength and beauty. Or, it could have been those stellar pipes of Dante Inferno belting out Lorde's Royals that brought a smile to our faces. It could have been one of these acts, or it could have been any number of their other amazing pieces!

I have so many amazing memories of Les Coquettes, as a fan, a friend and a volunteer. Five years ago, I went to my first Les Coquettes show. It was one of their (in)famous Halloween shows. I had never experienced burlesque before and to be honest, I've never experienced any other burlesque troupe since. I haven't felt the need to shop around looking for better entertainment in the scene. I don't think there is any other better entertainment out there!

Shortly after seeing my first show, I started to volunteer as an usher at their performances. I haven't missed one since. At first, I was very intimidated by the women and men of Les Coquettes. I saw them as the stars of the show and I saw myself as someone less. I would sneak into their dressing room and drop off my bags and change my clothes and head up the stairs to start my usher duties. I would say "hi" to one or two people, but I didn't want to get in the way. What a fool I was!

Soon enough, each member of the troupe made me feel welcome. These people are not only beautiful on the outside, they are beautiful on the inside. There was never a shortage of kind and encouraging words in the dressing room. When I saw how they treated each other - like a family - I felt more comfortable too. Soon my sheepish "hi" and "bye" became longer conversations and shared laughs. Soon, my blushing at a compliment became a returned compliment or a playful slap on the bum.

The funny thing is, as my comfort grew, my attire shrunk! Les Coquettes inspired me. There is no one type of beauty in that dressing room. All the women and men are sexy as hell, but they certainly are not all the same shape or size. They are sexy as hell because they are confident. They carry themselves with confidence. That is beautiful. That helped me to become more confident and not be ashamed of how I look, or self-conscious, or feel the need to cover up because of anyone other person's expectations of me.

But, returning to last night's show. One of the special things about Les Coquettes in the integration of aerial into their show. Of course, this is one of my favourite aspects! My very preggo silks instructor and friend, Charlotte Webber, AKA Natalie Fullerton, choreographed a beautiful, complex and compelling routine for her very best friend and "hetero lifemate" Suki Tsunami, AKA Lara Ebata, and damn! It was out-of-this-world! But, it made me cry. Not ball or weep, but shed a few tears.

If you weren't there, it will be hard to articulate the powerful message this performance made. To me, it truly was all about how we need to look for the light in the darkness. It was about how it is OK to reach out to those you love when you need help to get through a difficult time. It was about friendship. And, it was about loving each other. It was special. I am going to cry again while I write this. Damn it!

I need to thank my friends in Les Coquettes. Some of you I know very well. You have been a shoulder for me to lean on. You have been an ear when I have needed it. You have kicked my butt and made me stronger both physically and emotionally. I spend more time with some of you than I do with my own family, or friends that I have known for decades. I know last night wasn't goodbye. You're stuck with me!

Some of you I only see at shows, but you are amazing. La Minouche's/Catherine's blog, Playboy Mommy, is an inspiration. Her open and honest dialogue about all things is refreshing and I hope I can emulate some of that here. I want to learn the art of burlesque and dancing in high heels from Dew. I am going to work out with the Carpenter. And, if I can make other connections with other members, that would be amazing too!

What I am saying, is that I am grateful I had the opportunity to meet these wonderful individuals and that I could be a small part of their Les Coquettes family. If any of you are reading this, you are all very special and you'll be missed by many! Thank you bringing some light into my life. Thank you for allowing me to open up and be more confident and sexy. Thank you for being my friends! I will save images of all of you in my memory and when I need a little pick-me-up, I'll picture you shaking your glittery tatas or thrusting your scantily-clad pelvises in my direction!

When will I get to wear my false eyelashes, fascinator and leather bustier again?!

 XO, Jackie

P.S. Thank you to everyone who spoke to me or left me some kind words last week. I am still struggling with many unresolved issues, but knowing that I have a strong network of support means the world to me! Thank you for caring!