If You're Going to Go Out, You Might As Well Go Out With a BANG!

Take your seats. The show is about to begin! Les Coquettes go out with a BANG!

When La Minouche spoke to the audience at last night's farewell Les Coquettes Cabaret Burlesque show, BANG!, and asked us if the show had ever lifted us out of a dark place or time in our lives, I clapped and shed a tear. I'm sure many other audience members did too. I am sure we have all had our different hardships. I am sure we have all had different experiences at a Les Coquettes show that have helped us too.

Maybe Charity Dawn and the Mohel made us laugh with the number Let's Duet. Maybe Dew Lily thrilled us and made our naughty bits tingle with his Junkie Nurse act. Maybe we watched in awe as Charlotte Webber or Suki Tsumani dazzled us with their aerial strength and beauty. Or, it could have been those stellar pipes of Dante Inferno belting out Lorde's Royals that brought a smile to our faces. It could have been one of these acts, or it could have been any number of their other amazing pieces!

I have so many amazing memories of Les Coquettes, as a fan, a friend and a volunteer. Five years ago, I went to my first Les Coquettes show. It was one of their (in)famous Halloween shows. I had never experienced burlesque before and to be honest, I've never experienced any other burlesque troupe since. I haven't felt the need to shop around looking for better entertainment in the scene. I don't think there is any other better entertainment out there!

Shortly after seeing my first show, I started to volunteer as an usher at their performances. I haven't missed one since. At first, I was very intimidated by the women and men of Les Coquettes. I saw them as the stars of the show and I saw myself as someone less. I would sneak into their dressing room and drop off my bags and change my clothes and head up the stairs to start my usher duties. I would say "hi" to one or two people, but I didn't want to get in the way. What a fool I was!

Soon enough, each member of the troupe made me feel welcome. These people are not only beautiful on the outside, they are beautiful on the inside. There was never a shortage of kind and encouraging words in the dressing room. When I saw how they treated each other - like a family - I felt more comfortable too. Soon my sheepish "hi" and "bye" became longer conversations and shared laughs. Soon, my blushing at a compliment became a returned compliment or a playful slap on the bum.

The funny thing is, as my comfort grew, my attire shrunk! Les Coquettes inspired me. There is no one type of beauty in that dressing room. All the women and men are sexy as hell, but they certainly are not all the same shape or size. They are sexy as hell because they are confident. They carry themselves with confidence. That is beautiful. That helped me to become more confident and not be ashamed of how I look, or self-conscious, or feel the need to cover up because of anyone other person's expectations of me.

But, returning to last night's show. One of the special things about Les Coquettes in the integration of aerial into their show. Of course, this is one of my favourite aspects! My very preggo silks instructor and friend, Charlotte Webber, AKA Natalie Fullerton, choreographed a beautiful, complex and compelling routine for her very best friend and "hetero lifemate" Suki Tsunami, AKA Lara Ebata, and damn! It was out-of-this-world! But, it made me cry. Not ball or weep, but shed a few tears.

If you weren't there, it will be hard to articulate the powerful message this performance made. To me, it truly was all about how we need to look for the light in the darkness. It was about how it is OK to reach out to those you love when you need help to get through a difficult time. It was about friendship. And, it was about loving each other. It was special. I am going to cry again while I write this. Damn it!

I need to thank my friends in Les Coquettes. Some of you I know very well. You have been a shoulder for me to lean on. You have been an ear when I have needed it. You have kicked my butt and made me stronger both physically and emotionally. I spend more time with some of you than I do with my own family, or friends that I have known for decades. I know last night wasn't goodbye. You're stuck with me!

Some of you I only see at shows, but you are amazing. La Minouche's/Catherine's blog, Playboy Mommy, is an inspiration. Her open and honest dialogue about all things is refreshing and I hope I can emulate some of that here. I want to learn the art of burlesque and dancing in high heels from Dew. I am going to work out with the Carpenter. And, if I can make other connections with other members, that would be amazing too!

What I am saying, is that I am grateful I had the opportunity to meet these wonderful individuals and that I could be a small part of their Les Coquettes family. If any of you are reading this, you are all very special and you'll be missed by many! Thank you bringing some light into my life. Thank you for allowing me to open up and be more confident and sexy. Thank you for being my friends! I will save images of all of you in my memory and when I need a little pick-me-up, I'll picture you shaking your glittery tatas or thrusting your scantily-clad pelvises in my direction!

When will I get to wear my false eyelashes, fascinator and leather bustier again?!

 XO, Jackie

P.S. Thank you to everyone who spoke to me or left me some kind words last week. I am still struggling with many unresolved issues, but knowing that I have a strong network of support means the world to me! Thank you for caring!