Getting Past the September Slump

September is an exhausting month for me and thankfully it is almost over.  I spend July and August as a (mostly) free spirit. I get up when I want. I eat when I want. I spend time with myself doing what I want with few responsibilities. And then it's September and everything changes.

September brings early mornings and long commutes in traffic. September brings meal planning and prepping and regimented times to eat and go to the bathroom. Most of all, September means that I need to shift my mental focus away from myself and towards the young people that I am responsible for inspiring on a daily basis.

Please don't read this and think that I'm complaining about my vacation time, or the fact that I'm back to work. I'm not. However, the other day I was feeling down and pretty uninspired and I had to wonder, why? Teachers have always been sensitive to the fact that some children have a difficult time transitioning back into the routine of school days however I had never really reflected on my own feelings during this time.

At the moment, my creativity is being used to plan engaging lessons for my students. I am building relationships with 28 new people. Each one of them is different. Each one of them has expectations of me. Some come to school with bad feelings about their previous teachers or experiences in education. Some come with a set of challenges that I need to learn, understand, work with, and carefully balance. I am trying to hook them for the year and I don't have very many opportunities to create that hook. It's not easy and the stress is real!

All of those carefree things I was doing in the summer have been put on the back burner. I'm tired, so going out to hula hoop seems like work. I'm still trying to recover my strength after an injury, so training aerial silks feels frustrating. I've spent the day writing lesson plans, so staring at a computer trying to generate ideas to share in a blog post doesn't seem like fun, and I feel like I don't really have anything interesting to say anyways. With all of that negativity taking up space in my brain, no wonder I was feeling badly! 

Luckily for me, the universe saw that I was in need and presented a few perfect solutions for my melancholy. First, my amazing aerial instructor is planning a student showcase for November. Choreographing an act and working towards this showcase is just what I need to get my personal creative juices flowing! I am often motivated by working towards a goal and for me creating a new routine is a wonderful challenge. I was also fortunate enough to experience circus performers from around the world put on amazing and thought-provoking shows during the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this summer, so I'm happy to say that I have more than enough inspiration to draw on for this performance. It will be my first performance after my injury, so I am trying to be kind to myself, but I'm quite excited to get back on stage!

I am also in the midst of fostering some new writing ideas, also for the circus world. I have been networking with other writers, discussing how we can foster the circus writing community, and make it a sustainable way for performers and writers to make a living wage. I spent part of my summer working with circus writer/reviewer extraordinaire Katherine Kavanaugh, founder of the online circus website, Circus Diaries. With her support, I realised this summer that my writing voice is appreciated and it is needed. I want to promote the outstanding work that is being created here in Toronto, Ontario. I want to bring it to an audience outside of the immediate community.  I have reached out to organizations and received media accreditation so that I can review shows when they are playing here and build audiences for circus productions outside of the world of Cirque du Soliel. The hope is that with a wider audience,  more international shows will make Toronto a stop on their tours.

Self-reflection is a pretty amazing thing. Having spent the time to think about what bothers me and then creating a plan to get past those feelings has helped me to make it over my September Slump. Whatever you do to get past your slumps, be it writing, performing, painting, or yodeling, just be sure to carve out some time for yourself and do it! If you're feeling uninspired, reach out to your community and find inspiration in what others are doing. Challenge yourself to try something new-to-you. If you're still feeling meh then have a nap and try again in the morning! Just don't quit trying, OK?!                                                             

Cheers! Jackie

Back to School

The first day of school is over for another year. There was no need for me to toss and turn last night. There was no need to fret about the alarm going off this morning. There was no last-minute task that I had forgotten. I didn't even have to pick out an outfit because we all wore our staff shirts today. The day that I had eagerly anticipated and often dreaded came and went with very little fanfare.

This doesn't mean that there wasn't drama, but I am getting used to drama. Drama can be dealt with. Drama can be settled. I am thankful that the tussle that played out on the basketball court was just two boys posturing and a quick call home to parents dealt with it. I am thankful none of my students were stabbed and they all went home safely at the end of the day. Not everyone was so lucky today.

Am I overjoyed that some of my new students seem less than pleased with their placement? No, I am not. Do I understand that this is a normal reaction and change is difficult for some kids? Yes, I do. I know that coming back from a long vacation is mentally and emotionally exhausting. There are the kids you don't like. There are the kids that don't like you. There might be a bully. Math is hard. Art isn't your thing. The teacher hates you.

Even friends can be demanding if you haven't seen them in a while. Everyone is going to ask you how your summer went and sometimes summer didn't go so great. And, even if it did go fantastically, telling the same anecdotes over and over again can be a drag. I get it. I really do.

Tomorrow will get a little easier though. We'll all get to know each other a little better. The split won't seem so dire. Friends will still be there at recess and after school. The days will march on and before we know it, the calendar will change and it will be Thanksgiving, and then Christmas (Winter) Break, the New Year and so on. Time marches on and we might as well enjoy it and make the best of whatever situation we find ourselves in on this, the first day of school.

You might think I sound melancholy. You might ask yourself, is she happy? I am, but I am also exhausted and will be exhausted from now until next summer. It was hot today - sticky, cloudy, humid and HOT! Since the sun refused to come out and shine for us today (and I couldn't go to the beach), I brought a little of that warmth into the classroom myself.

Cheers to a new year,
Jackie