Work Hard. Play Hard: Female Entreprenuers in Contemporary Circus

I recently wrote a blog post for Circus Sessions that was featured on the Harbourfront Centre Blog. Due to word restrictions, I was unable to include all of these juicy details from both Jamie Holmes and Katelyn McCulloch. I thought I would post an extended version of the original post here. I hope you enjoy it!

Mere months ago, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, announced his first cabinet. For the first time in Canadian history, it was made up of equal numbers of men and women. When asked why, he quipped, “Because it’s 2015.” Touché, however here in Canada not all things are equal. Despite holding higher levels of education, women in Canada struggle with equity in the workplace. Women are less likely to climb the corporate ladder,  twice as likely to work part-time and make, on average, 19% less than men (1).

Entrepreneurship is one way to sidestep the gender gap in the corporate world. Jamie Holmes and Katelyn McCulloch, are successful female entrepreneurs and a part this year’s Circus Sessions. Jamie is a professional performer and instructor, co-founder of La Rouge Entertainment, an events company in Toronto, and owner of Raw Super Balls, an organic snack food company. Katelyn is a professional actress, dancer and aerialist, cofounder of No Parachute Theatre and teaches movement classes under her brand, McCulloch Movement. These busy women discuss some of the rewards and challenges of being a female entrepreneur in the circus world.

Circus Sessions: How have you managed to balance the demands on yourself to have multiple jobs?

Photo: Nick Lee

Jamie: I wouldn’t trade being self-employed for anything, but it can be overwhelming. I love what I do. I love rehearsing. I love teaching and planning recitals and tropical retreats for my students.  My relationships are also extremely important to me, so I make sure that I get at least two friend visits in each week on top of training with my friends, and make sure that I have a day with my guy.  All that being said, shows, opportunities and life things arise which is when you have to revamp it all. Scheduling and rescheduling are a big part of my life.

Photo Courtesy: Facebook

Katelyn: I am constantly reevaluating my life and what I have on the go. What has helped me is every day I ask myself: what am I doing for myself, for my relationships, and for my career?  It's not about everything being perfectly in line it's just about taking the time to acknowledge the things that are important to me and setting myself up for a balanced lifestyle.

CS: When you are “selling” yourself or members of your events business as performers, how important is it to highlight your sexuality to a potential client?

J: I feel that I personally will pitch according to watch I’m going after, if I feel that it is appropriate, and if I don’t think that it will compromise anything.

K: When I am pitching I never highlight sexuality or appearance, but rather an emphasis on style. I send people to my site where there is video and photos and let them decided if I'm what they're looking for for their event. I can't control if people perceive it as sexy, good or crap. I wouldn't be offended if a request was for a sexy act. I feel comfortable with language like that around aerial work, but if it become explicit or degrading I'd have no problem leaving.

CS: Earlier in your dance career you had some uncomfortable experiences. Do you have any advice for others as to how to avoid these types of situations, or how to respond to them if they do arise?

J: I was young and naive and really eager to work so I allowed that “want” to get in the way of my values unfortunately. I would say that no job is worth sacrificing yourself. No matter how “big and fabulous” it seems in the moment, don’t compromise yourself. My advice is to walk away if things start to get sticky. Trust your gut - it always knows.   

CS: Do you think that female entrepreneurs are well represented in the circus and/or event industry, or do you think that there is still work to be done in this area?

J: I do think that women are well represented in this industry.  Ninety percent of my friends are all well-established entrepreneurs, many of the people that I have worked with and for in the circus industry have been females and I’m working with women more than 50% of the time with my corporate events.

CS: Do you have any women that you look up to because of their experience in the industry, or because they are doing exceptional or innovative things?

J: I look up to the women in this industry that are mothers and pursuing their careers while raising kids. I look up to artists that have overcome huge adversity and move forward and express themselves through art. I look up to all of my friends who offer their brilliant opinions when needed. I know a lot of absolutely amazing women, all with unique and ever-inspiring qualities.  

K: First and foremost is Heather Kentner who owns and operates Cirque-ability and is the reason I have a career as a circus artist. She inspires me every day with her ability to run a successful business while being a mom and amazing friend. Brandy Leary for always questioning and seeing the bigger picture. Angola Murdoch who is a circus mama in so many ways and always has a look out for my safety and offering advice on coaching and performing. Holly Treddenick who creates unique opportunities for emerging and professional artists to develop.

CS: Finally, what would you say to young women who might be interested in joining the contemporary circus world as an entrepreneur?

J: It’s a fantastic world filled with strong, brilliant people with fantastic ideas. There are so many different and empowering avenues to pursue. It’s hard work, but it’s immensely rewarding and worth it. Do it!

K: Be humble, ask questions and be true to you. There are so many different paths to take in circus, whether it's recreational, coaching, performing corporate work, creating your own show, fusing together aerial and something else, being an agent or co ordinator. To figure it out, take class, go to people's shows, be a part of community events, seek out mentors, take people for coffee and ask questions. It will help you discover your own artistic practice.

1. Closing the Gender Gap - Canada https://www.oecd.org/canada/Closing%20The%20Gender%20Gap%20-%20Canada%20FINAL.pdf

When Motherhood and Circus Meet

Photo courtesy of Holly Treddenick

I have been writing about women, feminism and circus as part of the upcoming Circus Sessions. This is the unedited version of the latest blog that you can find on the Harbourfront Centre website. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to Holly Treddenick for this great opportunity!

Motherhood is a rewarding time in a woman’s life, but it comes with many challenges. When you’re a mother and your job description includes flying high above the crowd performing trapeze or aerial silks, walking tall on stilts, clowning and acrobatics, you are presented with a unique set challenges only a circus mother could understand.

Pregnancy poses physical changes for all women. When you are a circus performer, a changing body and growing baby can certainly create new challenges, but this doesn’t mean an abrupt end to performing. “[During] my first pregnancy, I kept on doing trapèze until the end of my seventh month, because I was in very good shape and I needed to keep on doing things that were part of my life and meaningful to me, such as performing in our circus show,” said Adèll Nodé-Langois, who is a clown and this year’s Circus Sessions mentor. Although some audience members were shocked to see a pregnant trapeze artist, she says others found it very beautiful and deeply moving.

Other performers do opt to stop performing during pregnancy. “As a circus artist there was of course the danger element. I needed to stop all risky activity in order to prevent harm to the baby....I was 4 months pregnant before I stopped walking on stilts. I did however stop all aerials work and stuck purely to my conditioning,” said Vanessa Furlong, singer, stilt-walker, acrobat and mother to a 2.5 year old little boy and one of this year’s participants.

Each woman I spoke with had a different experience throughout her pregnancy or pregnancies. One notable commonality was that their doctors all seemed to support them as performers and athletes. “My husband is an Ob/Gyn and he was pretty relaxed... I think his opinion was the more active a pregnant woman is, the easier her pregnancy will be,” said Rachelle Elie, who is a comedian, clown and artist. This seemed to be a common sentiment. “I had a midwife and she was pretty cool about it. She thought I should definitely keep training, at least light training, because that's what my body was used to,” according to Angola Murdoch, a participant in the inaugural Circus Sessions.

The need to bounce back and be ready physically and mentally to perform is important for circus professionals, because they depend on their bodies to make a living and support their families. Angola’s daughter, Luella, was born in September 2014, and was only 8 months old when mom participated in Circus Sessions last year. “Definitely my body is slower, my muscles remember what to do, but they aren't on the same page as my brain. It also has to do with the fact that I don't sleep for long periods of time anymore,” Angola says.  Circumstances also affect the time it takes for an artist to regain that physical strength. An emergency C-section meant Vanessa had an extended recovery time and needed to be patient with her body to ensure it was properly healed before getting back on her stilts or trapeze. A second pregnancy also presents new challenges. “[My] second took a lot more time physically to feel strong like I did pre-pregnancy. [It] was much tougher because I had to chase around a 2 year old and also child care was complicated,” said Rachelle.

While sometimes the physical shift of pregnancy can be complicated, emotionally and mentally, being a mother can add a whole new dimension to an artist’s work.  “Emotionally I'm finding myself wanting to express myself differently in my creations. I'm driven more by emotion,” said Angola.  A new mental strength and clarity can also come from a pregnancy. “I felt very strong mentally and emotionally during my pregnancy and I felt like I had some major breakthroughs as a performer pregnant. I felt grounded and also didn't waste time with things I didn't want to do,” added Rachelle.

Like many mothers returning to work, guilt affects how these mothers moved forward in their careers. “I had to set aside the new feelings of guilt in pursuing my passion rather than being at home with him,” said Vanessa of her choice to go back to training when her son was a baby. Others have made their sacrifices when their children are older. Dana Dugan, a trapeze artist and one of the founding members of the Chicago Contemporary Circus Festival, has two children, 16 year-old Audrey and 14 year-old Noah. Three years ago, Dana decided to move from her native California to Chicago, Illinois, to pursue her dreams.  Up until the very last minute, her two kids were going to move to Chicago with her, but then changed their minds and decided to stay in California with their father. With tears in her voice, she says of her decision’s effect on her children, “They have a much happier mother because I am doing what I want to do, as opposed to the mother who sat in traffic for 1.5 hours every day to do a job I hated. Doing what is best for me is what is best for my family. I still sometimes wrestle with that guilt.” Dana, who says she has struggled with depression over her choice to relocate, is also angry about the judgement that comes along with tough decisions like hers. “I can’t even go back to San Pedro because people think I abandoned my children to follow my dream. I left so I could work in a place that was within my means. Men do this all the time. Families do this all the time. But because I am a woman, an artist and I do circus, I am looked at differently. I had to go though, or I would be living on the street.”  

For the most part, family and circus fit well together and the women I spoke to have strong support systems that have helped them follow their passions. Adèll’s daughter, Ellie, was born in her circus trailer and raised in the show. Now 18 years old, she is an artist who wants to pursue politics in post-secondary school. Vanessa’s son already loves circus, and has been involved in infant classes at her circus school. It must come naturally because he’s been with mom since the beginning. “My partner and I found a way to compromise at first. He brought my lil guy to my practices and they watched from the gallery upstairs. When I heard the hunger cry, I ran upstairs, breast fed, and ran back down to finish my training. It felt really good to introduce my family to my circus family and vice versa,” she says. Luella, Angola’s daughter, has a blossoming career of her own even though she is only 1.5 years old. “She has even choreographed a short act on the bottom bar of my tight wire. She practiced over 30 times and then another circus friend came over to visit and she showed her the act and took a big bow at the end. This showed me she has been watching this whole time and also this is what she thinks normal kids do,” says Angola. Dana feels that the circus is one reason her children are the amazing people they are today. “My kids would just go with the flow [because of my training]. The fact that they have had to just roll with it means that they have become so well-adjusted. They are polite, they are smart, well-mannered. They will talk to anyone. The circus in general has a family feel. The kids are always welcomed and treated well,” she says.  And of course, the kids are some of mom’s biggest fans. “I love that my mom is a comedian, and the fact that she uses comedy on and off stage to always cheer us up and lighten our spirits. It is also a cool job according to my friends, so that is another advantage. And now that I am 14, I can see my mom's shows and enjoy them. She is quite the comedian!” says Dante, Rachelle’s son. Of course, mom, Rachelle, is over the moon, “It warms my heart that my son [said] that! So, so sweet.”

Being a mom is not an easy job. Being a circus professional is not an easy job. These women are up to the task though. They are inspirational reminders that women can pursue their dreams and passions and be amazing mothers at the same time.  

Highs and Lows of Learning

This past month has been a crazy blur of workshops, rehearsals, performance and of course work! There is so much to reflect on ~ both high points and low points in the process. The learning curve is steep when you are trying to challenge yourself to be a better you. There are stumbles along the way, but every mistake is an opportunity to learn and change and grow. I hope that is what I've been doing along the way.

Two weekends ago, I spent a Saturday and Sunday participating in workshops as part of the Contemporary Circus Arts Festival of Toronto (CCAFT). This year had a different feeling for me than last year. Unfortunately, I went into this weekend with a negative mindset and I really let it run the show. I went into the day with my injury on my mind and used it as a crutch. I told people about it and used it as an excuse as to why I might not be able to perform on par with other participants. I complained and I whined and after, I was embarrassed by my actions.

My fear of being judged and my fear of being a failure really set the tone for my participation, especially in the silks workshop I took. I wanted everyone to know that I was not an impostor and I should be there. I practically begged people to understand that I was just injured. In reality, the only people that needed to know were me and the instructor. Everyone else was focused on their own practice. They weren't pointing fingers at me and whispering to friends. These thoughts were all in my head. They were my problem. I am happy that I can reflect back and that I know that now. I wish I had have known it then. I could have gotten much more out of the day.

The following week began with rehearsals for the Nuit Blanche performance of Glaciology. I had signed up for this project knowing that it would be challenging for me. I have been working on my touch aversion for quite some time and while it is improving greatly and I do enjoy a hug from friends now, I still do not like to be touched by strangers. The idea of being a part of a 50-person human glacier rolling through the streets of Toronto really challenged this part of me. I REALLY wanted to be a part of Glaciology though because without challenge, there is no growth. I want to grow. I want to become a better me. So I rolled on.

Day one was emotional. I had a hard time getting into the mix and found myself on the periphery of the glacier most of the time. Even then, I had to remove myself from the group to collect myself. On more than one occasion I questioned whether or not I could be a part of this project. But, I didn't want this to be a repeat of CCAFT, so I continued with rehearsals and the final performance and I was so proud of myself. I spent the better part of 8 hours in that group. I was able to coil and connect with my fellow performers. I was able to take on their weight and allow myself to body surf the group too. I felt safe and secure and warm within the group, even though it was a damp and cold October evening and we were rolling on concrete and through puddles. The next day I was tired and I was sore, but I had accomplished something that I didn't think I would be able to do. I don't know how I could ever worry about touching a stranger again! Hugs for everyone!!

If I had remembered last year, I would have realized that post-performance lows are the norm. My most seasoned performer friends have told me that they still feel that low after a big performance. I should have expected this past week to be difficult. I didn't, but it was. The students in my class were difficult. My mood was low. There were racial discussions that went against my own personal beliefs. They bothered me and other students I teach. I told parents. They were unresponsive. I got lower. There was bullying. I tried to deal with it. The students' refusal to take responsibility for their actions and there outright lies were upsetting. More parental indifference.

What am I to do? I am feeling helpless. I am feeling useless. I want to help this group of students to grow and to learn. Some of them are going off to high school next year. They seem to fight me though. They seem to be happy to stare at their phones and resist my attempts to engage them in their education. In the end, I need to ensure that I continue to do my job to the best of my abilities and it's like the old saying goes: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." If I continue to  allow the actions of others, even the action of my students and their parents, chip away at my own well-being, I am the one who is going to suffer in the end. My goal for now is to work on ways to improve my own resilience so that I can deal with these frustrating work situations in a healthier way. My new outlook is to hope that I can plant a seed in even one student's head and one day that seed will grow into something beautiful.

This is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada and despite the lows that I experience, I know that I have much to be grateful for in my life. I was reminded of this yesterday in an unexpected place, the Puralator Courier Pick Up Centre. There, I meet a lovely woman. She was joyous, for lack of a better word. During our discussion she told me about her son. He had Down Syndrome and had died 5 years ago while battling cancer. Despite her loss, she said she was grateful for the time she had with him and was content that he was at rest now and he didn't suffer any longer. If she can find gratitude in this situation, then I know that I can work through my own lows to become a stronger, better me. We ended our conversation in that Puralator Office with a hug.

("The Inbetween" by Beartooth. This song is a bit of how I feel ~ highs, lows and not getting lost in the inbetween.)

Happy Thanksgiving All,
Jackie

Moonlighting (Again) for Circus Sessions

While my day consisted of marking math tests, trying desperately to get some 12 year old children to be socially-aware citizens of the world, and asking a student if he had to poop because his tummy hurt, some of the best people I know began a week of circus-y exploration and collaboration. I'm super-duper jealous because Circus Sessions began today!

While I may not be in the mix or in the air, I have been involved in Circus Sessions in my own way. I've now written two blog posts for Circus Sessions, profiling two of the collaborators and genres of circus that will be focused on during the week. My first post, featuring artist Greg Tarlin and the art of object manipulation, was published on April 9, 2015, and be found here. My most recent post was published today and featured artist Zita Nyarady and the art of clowning. It can be found here.

When Holly Treddenick, one of the co-directors of Circus Sessions, sent out the call on facebook for writers, I jumped at the chance to write about circus. My first degree is in Journalism, but I don't often find (or seek) the opportunity to get my work published anywhere but here on my own blog. To be honest, I had hoped that I would get to write about aerial, but I'm happy that I didn't get that chance. I've learned so much more by writing about two art forms that I didn't know or understand well previously!

I'm taking a few days off from training this week to rest a tweaky neck/shoulder/arm. I need to be in tip top shape for all of the fun circus adventures that are coming up in the next couple of months! I wish all of the artists taking part in Circus Sessions a great week. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all come up with for your final collaboration performance this Friday night!

Photo Credit: Circus Session Facebook page

Cheers,
Jackie

Object Manipulation II: I Dropped the Ball!

Juggling. I can juggle responsibilities. I can juggle tasks. I can juggle a room full of kids asking me questions at the same time. What I can't do is juggle. It's hard!

On Tuesday afternoon, I had the opportunity to learn juggling from none other than Greg Tarlin. You may remember him from the blog post I wrote for Circus Sessions a while back. He's kind of a good juggler. Sort of amazing actually. And, I imagine he's a great teacher, but I am not a stellar student! Nope. No indeed.

For the past few Tuesday afternoons, I've been working with a group teaching them beginner aerial silks through the Talk to Youth Lately programme provided by Look Up Theatre's head mistress, Angola Murdoch. It's been an amazing experience on so many levels. I am so happy to working with the group and to finally be able to teach a bit of aerial. It's kinda been a dream of mine! Also, because it is a social circus group, I've been learning so much about dealing with mental illness and the struggles that the people in the group face on a daily basis. It's really very humbling to be a part of this and to learn from them as well.

This Tuesday was different though. Greg was there and Angola asked me if I'd like to learn how to juggle. Of course I said "yes!" and so it began. I was the only participant who had never ever juggled before. Some had only tried juggling a few times though, and it seemed like they had caught on, so I was confident I could too!

Don't get me wrong, Greg's instruction was clear and great and seemed to make perfect sense. We started with two balls, which aren't actually balls. They're like densely packed bean bags really. Greg's advice:

1. Hold your arms by your side and make a 90 degree angle at your elbows. Relax your shoulders (I think that's a thing, but mine can't/won't relax - Yikes!) and hold the balls in either hand.
2. Picture a square in front of you. Mark an imaginary X through the square. Easy enough!
3. Toss the balls to the opposite corner - so the ball in my left hand (which is my dominant hand for some reason when I play "sports" like golf, baseball and now juggling) is tossed to the top right corner.
4. When the first ball reaches the top of its arch, toss the second ball in to the opposite corner. Ideally, you catch both balls.

Doesn't that sound easy! It's only two balls! Honestly, I was tossing those balls all over the place. Too low, too high, too far in front, too far behind. And, I was catching very few. A third ball. Out of the question!

I thought I'd read somewhere when I was researching for my blog post that most people could learn to juggle in about an hour?! LIARS! Everyone was awesomely supportive though. As they tossed 3, 4 or 5 balls through the air, they told me how well I was progressing. Angola saw me struggling and told me it took her weeks of intense learning and practicing to learn to juggle.

The perfectionist in me was struggling. Do I give up because I'm bad? Do I push on and try to improve? What to do?!

Greg told me to push like any good coach would! Add a third ball, he said. Try the drop technique. Hey, I was already good at dropping the ball, so why not give said technique a try. All I had to do was throw the balls up in the air in the correct pattern - left, right left - and let them drop. Ideally, two will drop in front of me on my right fairly close to each other and one on the left. That's a pattern I can handle. And, I did. His advice - don't get stuck with two balls. Go back and forth and try to progress.

Stellar advice. Don't get stuck! I'm so happy that I was able to meet Greg in person after interviewing him over the internet. I'm happy I was finally able to try juggling. I will try again too. Some day, I might even be able to juggle more than a busy schedule!

Cheers,

Jackie

Moonlighting for Circus Sessions

Hey all... Just a brief repost of a blog I wrote for the Circus Sessions happening at Harbourfront Centre May 11-17, 2015. Greg, my muse, was super-cool and has mad skills. Check him out and check out my blog!

Don't Drop the Ball: Object Manipulation