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| Photo courtesy of Holly Treddenick |
I have been writing about women, feminism and circus as part of the upcoming Circus Sessions. This is the unedited version of the latest blog that you can find on the Harbourfront Centre website. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to Holly Treddenick for this great opportunity!
Motherhood is a rewarding time in a woman’s life, but it comes with many challenges. When you’re a mother and your job description includes flying high above the crowd performing trapeze or aerial silks, walking tall on stilts, clowning and acrobatics, you are presented with a unique set challenges only a circus mother could understand.
Pregnancy poses physical changes for all women. When you are a circus performer, a changing body and growing baby can certainly create new challenges, but this doesn’t mean an abrupt end to performing. “[During] my first pregnancy, I kept on doing trapèze until the end of my seventh month, because I was in very good shape and I needed to keep on doing things that were part of my life and meaningful to me, such as performing in our circus show,” said Adèll Nodé-Langois, who is a clown and this year’s Circus Sessions mentor. Although some audience members were shocked to see a pregnant trapeze artist, she says others found it very beautiful and deeply moving.
Other performers do opt to stop performing during pregnancy. “As a circus artist there was of course the danger element. I needed to stop all risky activity in order to prevent harm to the baby....I was 4 months pregnant before I stopped walking on stilts. I did however stop all aerials work and stuck purely to my conditioning,” said Vanessa Furlong, singer, stilt-walker, acrobat and mother to a 2.5 year old little boy and one of this year’s participants.
Each woman I spoke with had a different experience throughout her pregnancy or pregnancies. One notable commonality was that their doctors all seemed to support them as performers and athletes. “My husband is an Ob/Gyn and he was pretty relaxed... I think his opinion was the more active a pregnant woman is, the easier her pregnancy will be,” said Rachelle Elie, who is a comedian, clown and artist. This seemed to be a common sentiment. “I had a midwife and she was pretty cool about it. She thought I should definitely keep training, at least light training, because that's what my body was used to,” according to Angola Murdoch, a participant in the inaugural Circus Sessions.
The need to bounce back and be ready physically and mentally to perform is important for circus professionals, because they depend on their bodies to make a living and support their families. Angola’s daughter, Luella, was born in September 2014, and was only 8 months old when mom participated in Circus Sessions last year. “Definitely my body is slower, my muscles remember what to do, but they aren't on the same page as my brain. It also has to do with the fact that I don't sleep for long periods of time anymore,” Angola says. Circumstances also affect the time it takes for an artist to regain that physical strength. An emergency C-section meant Vanessa had an extended recovery time and needed to be patient with her body to ensure it was properly healed before getting back on her stilts or trapeze. A second pregnancy also presents new challenges. “[My] second took a lot more time physically to feel strong like I did pre-pregnancy. [It] was much tougher because I had to chase around a 2 year old and also child care was complicated,” said Rachelle.
While sometimes the physical shift of pregnancy can be complicated, emotionally and mentally, being a mother can add a whole new dimension to an artist’s work. “Emotionally I'm finding myself wanting to express myself differently in my creations. I'm driven more by emotion,” said Angola. A new mental strength and clarity can also come from a pregnancy. “I felt very strong mentally and emotionally during my pregnancy and I felt like I had some major breakthroughs as a performer pregnant. I felt grounded and also didn't waste time with things I didn't want to do,” added Rachelle.
Like many mothers returning to work, guilt affects how these mothers moved forward in their careers. “I had to set aside the new feelings of guilt in pursuing my passion rather than being at home with him,” said Vanessa of her choice to go back to training when her son was a baby. Others have made their sacrifices when their children are older. Dana Dugan, a trapeze artist and one of the founding members of the Chicago Contemporary Circus Festival, has two children, 16 year-old Audrey and 14 year-old Noah. Three years ago, Dana decided to move from her native California to Chicago, Illinois, to pursue her dreams. Up until the very last minute, her two kids were going to move to Chicago with her, but then changed their minds and decided to stay in California with their father. With tears in her voice, she says of her decision’s effect on her children, “They have a much happier mother because I am doing what I want to do, as opposed to the mother who sat in traffic for 1.5 hours every day to do a job I hated. Doing what is best for me is what is best for my family. I still sometimes wrestle with that guilt.” Dana, who says she has struggled with depression over her choice to relocate, is also angry about the judgement that comes along with tough decisions like hers. “I can’t even go back to San Pedro because people think I abandoned my children to follow my dream. I left so I could work in a place that was within my means. Men do this all the time. Families do this all the time. But because I am a woman, an artist and I do circus, I am looked at differently. I had to go though, or I would be living on the street.”
For the most part, family and circus fit well together and the women I spoke to have strong support systems that have helped them follow their passions. Adèll’s daughter, Ellie, was born in her circus trailer and raised in the show. Now 18 years old, she is an artist who wants to pursue politics in post-secondary school. Vanessa’s son already loves circus, and has been involved in infant classes at her circus school. It must come naturally because he’s been with mom since the beginning. “My partner and I found a way to compromise at first. He brought my lil guy to my practices and they watched from the gallery upstairs. When I heard the hunger cry, I ran upstairs, breast fed, and ran back down to finish my training. It felt really good to introduce my family to my circus family and vice versa,” she says. Luella, Angola’s daughter, has a blossoming career of her own even though she is only 1.5 years old. “She has even choreographed a short act on the bottom bar of my tight wire. She practiced over 30 times and then another circus friend came over to visit and she showed her the act and took a big bow at the end. This showed me she has been watching this whole time and also this is what she thinks normal kids do,” says Angola. Dana feels that the circus is one reason her children are the amazing people they are today. “My kids would just go with the flow [because of my training]. The fact that they have had to just roll with it means that they have become so well-adjusted. They are polite, they are smart, well-mannered. They will talk to anyone. The circus in general has a family feel. The kids are always welcomed and treated well,” she says. And of course, the kids are some of mom’s biggest fans. “I love that my mom is a comedian, and the fact that she uses comedy on and off stage to always cheer us up and lighten our spirits. It is also a cool job according to my friends, so that is another advantage. And now that I am 14, I can see my mom's shows and enjoy them. She is quite the comedian!” says Dante, Rachelle’s son. Of course, mom, Rachelle, is over the moon, “It warms my heart that my son [said] that! So, so sweet.”
Being a mom is not an easy job. Being a circus professional is not an easy job. These women are up to the task though. They are inspirational reminders that women can pursue their dreams and passions and be amazing mothers at the same time.
